"Don't use that bathroom...I just cleaned the toilet!"
"Wait! You can't go in the kitchen..I just mopped and the floors are wet!"
"Can't you play upstairs? Mommy just straightened the living room."
And so it goes... day after day after day. I clean up. They mess it up. I scrub-they dirty. I organize-they dump!
Some days the race tires me to tears and I run ragged trying to stay ahead of the five blessings that God has given me - whose main purpose appears on some days to just destroy everything I'm working so hard to keep nice.
Eve....it must be her fault. You know, the one that bit the apple!!! I'll have to read Genesis again, but I wonder if I missed a part. I remember the curse on the man...that he would have to toil and slave over the ground to make food grow. I remember the curse on the serpent...to crawl on his belly, etc. And I remember parts of the curse on the woman. Her desire for her husband...pain in childbirth, etc. But, surely, I missed a part. The part where is says, "And you will desire to have a clean and pretty home but will never be able to keep it that way. Just when you think you are ahead, a little one will be sure to put you in your place and set you back ten paces. You will work and work and work but the tasks will never be completed because more always follows."
Poor me. So sad. I wash the dishes...more dishes. I launder the clothes, more dirty. I scrub the floor, mud on the shoes. The list goes on and on. Poor me.
Do you feel sorry for me yet? Are you sighing in agreement because you too have young children and can never keep the house the way you desire it for more than 5 minutes at a time??
Well...MOVE OVER PITY!!!!! Mama's got a whole new perspective!!! I've always thought when God called children a blessing, he didn't mean because they were such a joy 24/7. I think he teaches me a multitude about my sin through them and helps to grow and change me while I try my best to raise them in his ways.
While mopping up muddy footprints, wiping yogurt off my wall and listening to the toys being pulled out into the "clean" living room the other day I think I finally got it!!!! I think I finally had an "ah ha!" to why God allows us stay at home Mommies to run so ragged and try so hard, but never ever be able to actually do it!!!
Try as I might...work as hard as I can...I can't ever be who God wants me to be in my own strength. Just when I think I've cleaned up one "mess" (about myself) another one is right there waiting to be worked on. Just when I think I've conquered a bad habit or a sin in my life...another is waiting in the lurches to remind me of who I really am and how desperately I really need Jesus. I can throw all the mess in a closet so when company comes my house looks all cleaned up and proper-but I know the truth-I know what dirt is hidden and even if others can't see it-it's still there.
It's the same with my life. I can put on a good face and say all the right words and on the outside I might look like I've got it all together. But God knows my heart and has given me a peek or two and we both know the truth.
The truth is this. I can work hard night and day. I can try, in my own strength, to clean up the mess of me. I can run ragged doing and doing and doing-and-I might even fool some with an appearance of my accomplishments. But, I haven't fooled me or God. Only he can really finish the work he started in me. Only through him and in his strength will I be changed and the mess of me be cleaned up. Others will come along and mess up parts of my life that I thought were already finished. The worst of me will be dumped out and spread around so that it can be brought out into the light and God can really cleanse me and purify me. No matter how hard or how long I try-I could never do it for myself or by myself. It's really ALL GOD.
Mopping the floor took on a whole new perspective that day.
Loading and unloading the dishwasher for the third time seemed less of a headache. The toys I walked over that the children had dumped seemed not as frustrating. I saw the mess...the continual...never ending...always having to be worked on...job never over...mess from a different perspective. It became me!!! And I am so thankful the the beautiful mess of me that God is sanctifying and promises to finish.
One day. In His time. For His Glory!!!
It's ok that I can't do it all-or all at once-or-all on my own. I wasn't meant to and I am so thankful for the 5 little blessings that help keep my house in need of constant cleaning to remind me that God's ways are so much better and higher than mine!
I hope you have a blessed day-enjoying the blessings in your life!
Love the post and NO, can't say I feel sorry for you! I learned many years ago, do what you can and enjoy the messes, they will soon be replaced with homework assignments, musical instruments and the house will feel empty! You are great about putting this in perspective!
ReplyDeleteI NEEDED this post Shannon as I just got up from lying face down on my bed sobbing over myself! Thank you so much for sharing. :)
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