Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. Psalm 84:5

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Too Much. Too Hard. Too Dumb

Some things are just Too Much to blog about.

Some things are just Too Hard to blog about.

And that leaves everything else that crosses my mind---

Too Dumb to blog about.

Still hurting...still healing...still praying. Tonight I had to pack all our foster son's things up for the social worker to pick up. I wrote him a long letter reminding him how God's plans for him are good and how even though we all made plans, God determines our steps and His ways are higher than our ways. I can only hope and pray that God's word has been hidden in his heart that he might know Him. I wrote the letter for him, but need the reminders myself just as much.Thank you for those who have been praying for him and our family. It's going to be a long road for us all.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

And then there were 5.....

Dear Friends,
We have suffered a crisis in our family. One that I can not go into detail, but involved our foster son, whom we were planning to adopt in 3 weeks.
This crisis, as if not bad enough on it's own, opened doors for conversations, which revealed a level of abuse he has suffered that NO ONE was ever aware of, all of his 5 years in this system.
These situations and revelations make it no longer safe for him to be in a family with young children.
Last night, he left our home and will not return.
Today, I am in mourning. For many things.
I don't know when I'll be back..but plan on me being gone for some time as I focus on prayer and healing in our family.
If the Lord puts us on your heart, we would appreciate your prayers.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Mama Bear

Sometimes being a foster Mom is like being.....a mommy bird during nesting season. Running around, in a flurry..getting everything you need to care for the new one...preparing a place for him...making sure it looks nice and inviting and all the essentials are in place.

Sometimes being a foster Mom is like being.....a mommy dog. You think you have enough to care for all yours and enough to take in another who is not being cared for by it's own Mom.  Move over puppies..we can fit one more in! :)

Sometimes being a foster Mom is like being....... a mommy cat. You are filled with compassion for the hurting desire to lick all the wounds and carry the babe gently in your mouth to a safe place.

Sometimes being a foster Mom is like being....a mommy lion! This child comes to you unprepared for the new surroundings and you have to teach him everything. How things work in your den...and how to survive in the real world. You spend a lot of time going over the same things and role playing and practicing. Just like a Mommy lion playing hunting with her cub.

Sometimes being a foster Mom is like being......a chicken. Birds of a feather flock together. When you introduce a new chicken to a flock that has been raised together, the flock do not always accept the new chicken. Sometimes they are down right mean to it-try to peck at it-and they are so scared by the intrusion that they might stop laying eggs for a while. Likewise, your children might be in a bit of shock and may try some pecking of their own! today...being a foster Mom is like being.....a mama bear. Anyone gets too close to my baby bear and GRRRRRR! You better watch out! Even a suspected danger can lead a mama bear to kill!!! Today, my foster son made a bad choice. It's not the first time. In fact, it's the third time something of this "personal" nature has taken place. There is no chance that he "forgot" the rules, or that he "just didn't know better". He remembers. He knows better. But, he made a bad choice and it was towards my 8 year old daughter and my mama bear instinct is running full force!

Our finalization to adoption is in only 3 weeks. Did you ever admire a foster Mom and think, "Wow, she's doing such a great thing. I could never do it, though." Well...I want to tell you that you could. Here's how I know: It is SO hard. And whatever it looks like on the outside is NOT what it feels like on the inside. Whatever you think when you see me "handling" my 5 kids and our foster not what reality feels like to this Mama Bear! I struggle and I sweat and I want sometimes to just growl loudly and attack in order to protect my own little cubs. I know you could do it, because I know God would do for you the same he does for me. He stops this Mama Bear in her tracks. The holy spirit calls me to back off, cool down, retreat and remember- that though this danger is not my own cub...he is God's own cub. Then, I am reminded that my foster son is not the one who has done wrong-he was wronged and hurt and what I see are the side effects from a rough first 5 years.

I still want to-and need to- protect my cubs. I keep trying different techniques...I try very hard to never leave them unattended, I use monitors to listen in as much as possible. But..I can't be everywhere, all the time. I need to be diligent to reinforce what's appropriate with my own and help them learn how to protect themselves when Mama Bear isn't in the same room.

My biggest prayer, is that God will do a work in my heart so that one day soon-my foster son will feel like one of my own cubs. Then,  it will be easier to treat them all the same-love them all the same-and this Mama bird/dog/cat/chicken/lion/BEAR can trust her own instincts will be loving and fair for all the precious little ones God has intrusted to her!!!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Oooh! I really like it!!!

What a unique look..the mix of the flower fashioned from leather and the various colored metals. I feel warm and cozy and ready for fall just looking at it!!!

This stylish flexi clip is Lilla Rose's limited edition September clip. It is only available in limited quantities and only for this month! So....if you like it as much as I do....head on over to my site at

Sign up as a customer if you haven't already, and then happy shopping! 
Or, better yet...peruse my site a bit more and you might consider becoming a consultant yourself! 
If you have any questions about how to start your own business as a Lilla Rose 
Consultant, I'd be happy to help!

Overwhelming Love

Dear Blogging Friends....
If you have not already seen my face book posts, linking to Love for Zaria, 
please take a moment to check out this link:

Love To Zaria-Overwhelming!

Not long ago,,,I posted this need from another blog:
Family Needs Your Help

And in less then 24 hours the need was met! You can read about that here:
Look At The Birds

It's A Blessing has made a donation to help Zaria's family...but we also decided to join in the giveaway to help encourage others to make a donation.

Oh? Didn't you know? When you make a donation, as little as $5.00, you are entered in this AMAZING giveaway with an incredible list of prizes that have been donated from all over for this cause!!!!!

It's a Blessing has donated a $25.00 certificate for that winner (there will be lots of winners) to purchase something of their choice.

Please take at least a moment to look over the first link..and pray about it. If God leads you to help this family-do it!! And you will be part of HIS OVERWHELMING LOVE!!!!!

Have a Blessed Day!!!